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Republicans draw the line at beheadings

Stevieslaw: Republican Platform draws the line at beheadings

In a contentious, fourteen hour debate, moderates defeated an amendment to the Republican Platform that would have allowed for the “beheading, boiling in oil, or burning at the stake of perverts.”  The amendment was defeated by a scant 4 votes.  The platform had previously defined “pervert” to include homosexuals, transgenders, atheists and people with suspicious moles or visible tattoos. Read more »

Stevieslaw: Dear John Q. Public

Stevieslaw: Dear John Q. Public

Hi John Q:

Well I’m off on my seven week paid vacation.  I’m afraid that once again my colleagues and I got almost nothing done.  But why pretend that you care?  We will patch together something or other to keep things running when we get back.  You won’t notice.  Read more »

Senate Signs off on gun control measure

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Stevieslaw: Senate signs off on gun control measure
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Republicans take a page from the Lord of the Rings

Stevieslaw: Republicans take a page from the Lord of the Rings

It seems only hours ago that the Republican establishment was united in the “Stop Trump” movement.  They firmly believed that Trump was pure evil—a manifestation of the “Dark Lord” on earth. Even worse than that, they felt he was likely to ruin the Republican brand and lose them the House and perhaps even the Senate. Read more »

The Outhouse of the True Conservative

Stevieslaw: The Outhouse of the True Conservative
 

In a Stevieslaw exclusive, we have learned that Republican controlled states will no longer provide indoor plumbing in schools and public buildings, rather than agree to an Obama administration ruling that allows transgender students to use an appropriate bathroom. Phil Bryant, governor of Mississippi, has suggested that privately owned businesses, that now provide public restrooms, should dismantle them. 
 

Said spokesperson, Hal I. Tin, “Single-seat outhouses are an obvious solution to providing comfort and safety for our students. Port-a-Potties will be used as a temporary solution until traditional wooden out-houses can be constructed at schools and various public buildings—such as State courts and the Capital.
 

“For many of us,” concluded Mr. Tin, “the half-moon sign conjures visions of happier times—of the glory and tradition of the Confederate States.”

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