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Republicans draw the line at beheadings

Stevieslaw: Republican Platform draws the line at beheadings

In a contentious, fourteen hour debate, moderates defeated an amendment to the Republican Platform that would have allowed for the “beheading, boiling in oil, or burning at the stake of perverts.”  The amendment was defeated by a scant 4 votes.  The platform had previously defined “pervert” to include homosexuals, transgenders, atheists and people with suspicious moles or visible tattoos.

F. M. Values, spokesperson for Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council and author of much of the platform, said “Tony was able to contain his anger—recognizing that completely purging America of perversity will take time.” 

Still, the Republican platform, if enacted, will essentially erase all social change that occurred after the Protestant reformation (1517-1648).

“Tony was particularly pleased that an amendment recommending “conversion camps” for perverts was passed by a solid majority.  As Mr. Perkins is fond of saying, said Mr. Values, “Conversion will set you free.”

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