House Republicans asked Barack Obama today to explain his plan for reducing the U.S. nuclear arsenal. The President had first announced the plan in 2009. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter was down like a shot to interview the House Republican Spokesperson, Donas K. Meey. Donas said, “This is consistent with this President’s attempts to cut military spending and put America in a vulnerable position in a dangerous world.” “What about the Iranians?” she stammered angrily.
Smokey pointed out that a 2009 study had estimated that with the current size of the U.S. arsenal, we could afford to detonate roughly 11 H-bombs over each of the 200 largest cities on the planet. “Short-sighted,” countered Donnas. “Suppose we do follow through on the Gingrich plan to build a civilization on the moon,” What’s the point of building cities there if we don’t have the ability to destroy them as well? Suppose they are captured by the Chinese, the Iranians or for that matter by crazed feminists.” “A President needs to think ahead,” she said sagely, “and we will need more weapons for the moon, Mars and beyond.” “We must be able to protect our space bases, after the Russians ferry us up to them.”