Republicans fear that Mitt’s new motherboard, Empathy III, will not arrive from China in time for the convention. As you have no doubt heard, Empathy II fried during the Mitts attempt at a birther joke. Sal Hapatica, Mitt’s chief for computer simulation, agreed that a joke was a huge stretch for the available Mittsoftware.
“Actually, it was the giggle after the joke,” he told Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter. “We should have never tried to program the giggle.”
For those of you following the Mittepic, you may recall that Empathy 1 went bad during Mitt’s European trip—that sad business with the Brits and their Olympics.
“We need to have Mitt show great empathy with the American public—particularly with the poor and the middle class he doesn’t really give a damn about, and I fear the Chinese are just not taking this seriously.” “If they are late with the motherboard, we will have to go with Plan B.”
“And what’s Plan B?” asked Smokey.
“In Plan B we go with a silent Mittbot and an empathic ventriloquist, but the camera angles will be a nightmare.”
“It only has to work for an hour,” Sal whined. “just during the acceptance speech.”
“After that the MIttbot can just recite the party line as outlined in the Republican platform.” “That platform is as cold and as dead as Ayn (pave the planet) Rand’s philosophy.” “It’s perfect for a robot.”
Stevieslaw: MItt's Motherboard Crisis
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lulz
well, I dont think it was a joke at all, it was code, the teabaggers and teh republicans always speak in codes to each other, because they are smart enough to realize that the things they believe are repugnant.
Witty Mitty
Pretty much as funny as Republicans can get, nowadays. I'm starting to miss Barry Goldwater.
I think Chris Matthews nails it - birther jokes code for race
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“That cheap shot about ‘I don’t have a problem with my birth certificate’ was awful,” Matthews said of GOP hopeful Mitt Romney’s Friday embrace of the birther notion that President Barack Obama was not born in the U.S. “It is an embarrassment to your party to play that card.”
“And this thing about birthers — yeah, if your name’s Romney, you were well born, you went to prep school, you can brag about it. And this [Barack Obama] guy, he’s got an African name, he’s got to live with it. … This is absurdity! Making fun of this guy’s birth certificate issue when it was never a real issue, except on the right wing.”
MSNBC host Joe Scarborough tried to give Priebus some cover, defending Romney as simply “misfiring badly” with the so-called birther joke. But the RNC chairman decided to take Matthews on.
“You got your monologue in, so congratulations,” Priebus quipped to Matthews. “You’re loaded up, you got it out. So, good for you. The fact of the matter is, is he’s from Michigan, he was born in Michigan, he was making the point that I was born in Michigan. And you know what? We’ve gotten to a place in politics that any moment of levity totally frowned upon by guys like you just so that you can push your brand.”
“It just seems funny that the first joke that he’s ever told in his life is about Obama’s birth certificate,” Matthews pointed out.
“I think Obama’s policies have created a sense that, for whatever reason, he’s looking for guidance, as far as health care is concerned, as far as our spending is concerned, as far as these stimulus packages are concerned — he’s looking to Europe for guidance,” Priebus explained.
“What?” Matthews exclaimed. “Where do you get this from? This is insane! … What’s this got to do with Europe and the foreignization of the guy. You’re doing it again now! You think he’s influenced by foreign influences? You’re playing that card again.”
“I’m not going to get into a shouting match with Chris,” the RNC chairman said, dismissing the MSNBC host with a wave of his hand.
“Because you’re losing, that’s why,” Matthews shot back.
“No, I’m not losing,” Priebus insisted. “I’m not going to sit here and take shots.”
“Cheap shots about how Obama being a foreigner is the thing your party’s been pushing,” Matthews noted. “[Romney surrogate John] Sununu pushes it. Everybody pushes it in your party.”
“It’s garbage,” Priebus replied. “Garbage.”
“It’s your garbage,” Matthews concluded.
Here's the transcript - about the racism of the romney campaign
>> i have to call you on this, mr. chairman. you've been suggesting that somehow obama's been running a negative campaign, obama and your guy's been running a positive campaign. that's not accurate. in fact if they both stopped all the negative, i'm not sure who would win. but they're both negative. that cheap shot about i don't have a problem with my birth certificate is awful. it is an embarrassment to your party to play that card. this getting rid of the work requirement for health and welfare. it is dishonest and you are playing that little ethnic card there. can you play your games and giggle about it but the fact is your side is playing that card. you start talking about work requirements, you know what game you're playing and everybody knows what game you're playing. it a race card. if your name's romney one you went to prep school, yeah, brag about it. this guy has an african name and he has to live with it. who was born on third base? this absurdity! making fun of the guy's birth certificate issue when it was never a real issue except from the right wing.
>> you think that romney's playing the race card.
>> when he said -- yeah. there's no doubt he did with his birth certificate.
>> no doubt.
>> no doubt. why would he bring it up? why would he say i have no problem with my birth certificate.
>> because he's an awkward joker.
>> because he misfired badly on the joke.
>> why would he do it?
>> i'm just asking you. do you think that mitt romney is playing the race card?
>> yeah.
>> do you really.
>> yeah. and i think his work requirement plays right into it.
>> that's the race card, too.
>> of course it is! welfare. food stamps. absolutely. and you can chuckle.
>> now let him respond, chris.
>> the fact is you know what's going on.
>> let him answer.
>> you got your monologue in --
>> no, no.
>> congratulations. you got your -- you're loaded up, you got it out. the fact of the matter is, he's from michigan. he was born in michigan. he's making the point that i was born in michigan. and you know what? we've gotten to a place in politics that any moment of levity is totally frowned upon by guys like you just so that you can push your brand. you know what? good for you. it is a moment of levity.
>> what was the joke?
>> barack obama came out of the correspondence dinner with his own joke, as you remember --
>> what's the joke in the fact he has a birth certificate? i don't get it.
>> i'm a real american. every person, myself, starting in february of last year, as soon as i became chairman of the rnc, mitt romney continuously has said this president was born in this country. it's a non-starter. it's a dumb issue. it's a distraction. forget about it.
>> it just seems funny the first joke he's ever told in his life is about obama's birth certificate.
>> listen, i disagree with chris on this.
>> and the work requirement --
>> are you speaking for everyone here?
>> i think it was a demonstration of his awkward sense of humor. but i do think in fairness that all during the republican debates and the primaries that there was a lot of stuff aimed at the president that was not refuted by leaders of the party.
>> i refuted it every single time -- i betcha 20 times on tv.
>> i'm not talking about the birthing thing, but as far as he's a muslim, he's a socialist, he's not american. jo john sununu had to apologize for being american. i think that's what's made the country fed up with american politics and it is a challenge for both parties.
>> but i think obama's policies have created a sense that for whatever reason, he's looking to guidance as far as health care is concerned, as far as our spending is concerned, as far as the stimulus packages are concerned. he's looking to europe for guidance.
>> what?
>> i mean that's the problem.
>> where do you get this from? this is insane! you mean the keynesian fiscal policy-- you mean the fact that every president we've had has tried to offset the economic cycle with stimulus going the other direction is somehow european?
>> he said he'd get the debt under control.
>> what's this got to do with europe and this foreignization of the government? you're doing it now. saying he's influenced by foreign influences? you're playing that card again. what's this european thing of yours?
>> what do you think --
>> let's just work on tone.
>> what are you up to with this constant -- saying he's not really domestic. he brought it up.
>> you don't think that the takeover of our health care system called obama care is a problem for most americans?
>> let me tell you some history, sir. teddy roosevelt pushed for that. were they all into a battle with europe?
>> i'm not going to get into this argument with chris.
>> because you're losing. that's why. being a foreigner, obama, this is the thing your party's been pushing.
>> garbage. garbage.
>> it's your garbage.
>> um, yeah.
>> you know, you know the hurricane? it might bypass us completely and go on to new orleans.
>> we went from a tropical storm to a hurricane 3.
>> it's good that maybe we suspend things momentarily. reince priebus,