Justin Gillis reports in the New York Times this morning that climate change dissenters have latched on to the work of Richard S. Lindzen, a Meterology Professor at MIT. Dr. Lindzen’s research supports the theory that the change in cloud formation, as a result of CO2 accumulation in the atmosphere, will act to reduce the temperature of the earth—a counterbalancing affect. While nearly all climate scientists disagree with Dr.

David Lightman, of McClatchy Newspapers, reports today on Mitt Romney’s just announced economic plan to increase the Federal deficit by trillions over the next decade. Romney’s plan, much like the plans of Santorum and Gingrich, would increase the Federal deficit by cutting the heart out of each and every entitlement program aimed at helping people who can not qualify for employment with firms like Bain Capital. A list of the deadbeats to be defunded includes the old, the young, the infirm, the still healthy, veterans, women, and those who are “barely citizens.”
Self-acclaimed Tea Party spokesman, just-plain-Joe, welcomed the plan, saying, “Although it does not decrease the deficit—which was always a smokescreen, it will make sure that “they” will not be getting a single dollar of my hard earned money. Republicans were also jubilant. A spokesperson for Eric “the knife” Kantor praised the effort by Romney, Santorum and Gingrich to increase the deficit and defund the masses without the need for an unfunded war in a country no one can find on a map. “Their reasoning is breathtaking,” he stammered.
The only candidate proposing a plan to actually reduce the deficit, aside from President Obama, was Ron Paul.

House Republicans asked Barack Obama today to explain his plan for reducing the U.S. nuclear arsenal. The President had first announced the plan in 2009. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter was down like a shot to interview the House Republican Spokesperson, Donas K. Meey. Donas said, “This is consistent with this President’s attempts to cut military spending and put America in a vulnerable position in a dangerous world.” “What about the Iranians?” she stammered angrily.
Smokey pointed out that a 2009 study had estimated that with the current size of the U.S. arsenal, we could afford to detonate roughly 11 H-bombs over each of the 200 largest cities on the planet. “Short-sighted,” countered Donnas. “Suppose we do follow through on the Gingrich plan to build a civilization on the moon,” What’s the point of building cities there if we don’t have the ability to destroy them as well? Suppose they are captured by the Chinese, the Iranians or for that matter by crazed feminists.” “A President needs to think ahead,” she said sagely, “and we will need more weapons for the moon, Mars and beyond.” “We must be able to protect our space bases, after the Russians ferry us up to them.”

Stevieslaw: Bad Robot
Obama campaign spokesperson, Dr. T. Ickes, offered a suggestion for all of the President’s supporters. Smokey managed a grin when she heard about it, for as she said, “it took me back to all those hours I spent watching the TV show Lost.” Perhaps you remember the show as well, but Dr. Ickes was most interested in what happened at the end of the show. “The production company had a little robot come rolling out to the announcement—bad robot.” “We are suggesting that all Obama supporters say, when faced with a Romney commercial, a Romney speech, or even a stray thought about Romney, “bad robot” loudly and clearly. Imagine 10 people on a bus or train or in the lobby of a theatre, uttering—nearly simultaneously—“bad robot” with obvious reference to the Republican candidate. “With luck, said the good doctor, we can have the whole country laughing at even the thought of Romney by Election Day.”
Bad robot.