Rethinking the Civil War

Stevieslaw: Rethinking the Civil War
We just got the revealing news that Rick Santorum has won the Mississippi and Alabama Republican primaries, and if that doesn’t fulfill some biblical prophecy, it should, and we will need a rewrite. Most of the voters in these two “deep south” states identify themselves as evangelicals or born again Christians. Amazingly, their vote hinged on the contestants answer to a single debate question—or more accurately a single debate challenge. The four contestants were asked to use the words “pre-natal, contraception, woman, and unclean” in a sentence. ImmacuRick won hands down, sounding as some of our exit poll voters exclaimed, “Like the good lord himself.”
The results got Smokey Diamond and me talking about the Civil War Cousin Myron, the fiery red-headed math whizz, has from early childhood said “that dope,” whenever President Lincoln’s name was mentioned. He believes strongly that Abe over reacted with the Civil War and all, and a simple Hallmark greeting card saying something like:
Dear Jeff,
We are so sorry to see you go— best of luck with your new country. Perhaps, Mary and I could have you and Varina to tea sometime soon. Call us as soon as the telephone is invented.
Sincerely,
Abe
Perhaps Myron has something there.