Republicans to Cut Wealth Gap

Hope Yen, writing for AP, reported today that the “wealth” gap between the old and the young is increasing. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, was startled—and trust me when I say that the one thing you don’t want to do is startle Smokey Diamond.
“Do you mean to say,” he queried “that people who have worked all their lives, have paid for a house, and subsist mostly on Social Security are wealthier than young people that are just starting out, have an underwater mortgage, and are having difficulty in finding jobs because there aren’t any.” “Astonishing,” he murmured. “And, he noted, “it is a nice touch having the headline for the article call it a “wealth gap,” when the difference is between people living on social security on those living on nothing.
Smokey reports that the Republican caucus on the Hill was positively gleeful over the study results.” Their spokesperson, Rip Cutcaus, took time out from his busy schedule of explaining the Republican strategy in blocking job bills and denying a continuation of Federal Unemployment benefits to tell Smokey, “This is the death knell for entitlement programs such as Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.” “We have catered to the old for too long and the result is this huge discrepancy in wealth.” “Moreover, this is a problem Republicans can solve,” continued Rip. “If we cut entitlements this wealth gap will close, and, there will be no need to trouble the job producers with insane calls for more taxes.