Stevieslaw: The Outhouse of the True Conservative
 

In a Stevieslaw exclusive, we have learned that Republican controlled states will no longer provide indoor plumbing in schools and public buildings, rather than agree to an Obama administration ruling that allows transgender students to use an appropriate bathroom. Phil Bryant, governor of Mississippi, has suggested that privately owned businesses, that now provide public restrooms, should dismantle them. 
 

Said spokesperson, Hal I. Tin, “Single-seat outhouses are an obvious solution to providing comfort and safety for our students. Port-a-Potties will be used as a temporary solution until traditional wooden out-houses can be constructed at schools and various public buildings—such as State courts and the Capital.
 

“For many of us,” concluded Mr. Tin, “the half-moon sign conjures visions of happier times—of the glory and tradition of the Confederate States.”

Stevieslaw: Enabling Trump  - American journalists of all stripes have been spending the last few days beating themselves up.  Journalists have realized that by reporting on Trump exclusively, in all his many manifestations, instead of reporting on anything else on the planet, they’ve enabled his candidacy.  Reports of this startling realization were the lead articles in all reputable newspapers and magazines and the lead story on all the network and cable news stations.  The New York Times headline screamed “How We Helped Trump,” in a font size previously reserved for the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, while The National Enquirer’s headline had, “We Helped the Trump-Weasel-Win,” with prominent photos of Trump and his immediate family—through 3rd cousins on every page of the newsrag.  CNN apologized to the American people for 37 continuous hours while “Trump the presumptive nominee,” rolled across the screen. 

Now, we have learned that a special award for Journalistic Excellence has been established to reward any news organization that can construct a complete sentence—whether written or verbal—without using the word Trump in said sentence before the November election. Read more »