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Out of the Mouth of Babes

Stevieslaw: Out of the Mouth of Babes

Abigail, one half of Cousin Myron’s teen twins, has been watching a bunch of old TV shows from her mom and dad’s era.  She likes Maverick, Get Smart, and Mash best.  Last Sunday, at the traditional, “It’s really cold in March,” family barbecue and endurance event, she casually mentioned, “For the cost of maintaining Congress, we could have 1000 Steve Austin’s.”  Read more »

The War on the Disorganized

Stevieslaw: The War on the Disorganized

Forget the war on Christmas.  The war so many of us have to pay attention to is the war on the disorganized.  Here at Stevieslaw, our former employer, The Penn State University, has decided to reduce its health care costs by rooting out the people who are claiming health benefits for dependents who aren’t.  My guess is that there are less than a half a dozen people that fall into that category.  No matter. To handle the task, dear old state has hired a company---probably at a cost of some umpteen million or so.  Dear old State!

I have to prove that I am married---by presenting to a web site, or faxing, or mailing a copy (or perhaps an original) of our marriage certificate and an income tax filing from the last two years.  Organized people, who have their documents filed neatly by subject, date and color of paper, can do this in about eleven seconds.  Disorganized people must allow at least 4000 hours for the task.  Karen and I were married in 1969.  Do you have my marriage certificate? Neither do I.  My computer---the one that had all of my income tax stuff crashed recently.  Do you have my returns? Me neither.   Read more »

Rooting for OMW

Stevieslaw: Rooting for OMW

Let’s not lie to one another.  I know you are not sitting in front of your TV at five in the afternoon and again at eleven at night dressed in your favorite “let it snow sweatshirt.”  You are not even cheering when your local weatherperson---in our case a guy so old he is an  constant reminder of eight inch black and white sets---announces that tomorrow will be brutally cold and that people dumb enough to venture out will freeze solid in less than fifteen seconds.  But deep down, aren’t you---aren’t we all---wishing Old Man Winter one final terrific performance? One more winter we can say of in twenty years: “You remember the winter of 13, froze my butt off.”  The truth now.  Don’t you wish OMW could raise his hoary arm once more out of the white stuff that constrains him (no not snow, more like the foam that they coat runways with to prevent fires) and let us have it once again.  Let’s hear it for the old guy--- encore, encore, encore.

Fox News Trumpets an "I Told You So."

Stevieslaw: Fox News Trumpets an “I Told You So!”

Fox News’ Medical Experts are citing a recent report that shows American men have the lowest life expectancy and American women the second lowest among 17 developed nations as evidence of the dramatic failure of Obamacare.  Fox medical spokesperson, Iggy B. Moth, said in an interview with our own Smokey Diamond, “As we predicted, Obamacare has been a terrible catastrophe for the nation.”  “We have gone from having the best health care in the world---hands down---as we reported last year during the Presidential campaign, to the worst, in just the little more than six months since the Supreme Court approved Obamacare.”

Our usually respectful Smokey Diamond felt forced to point out that, “the authors of the study suggest that violence, particularly gun violence, and obesity were driving factors for the lower life expectancy in America.” “Moreover,” continued Smokey, “The study was retroactively based on statistics from the late 1990s through 2008.”   

“Someone should do a book on lame liberal excuses,” responded Moth.  “You America hating liberal fascists are never willing to take responsibility for anything,” he concluded with a Fox flourish. 


Stevieslaw: Corbett No Respond to Kaen*

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